All of that said, everyone who knows the plays at all well will have noted what at least seem to be inconsistencies and illogicalities and shortcuts and facile conveniences in many if not indeed most of the You can’t scare me I work at Mcdonald’s I’ve seen it all shirt. Margaret not coming forward to report the facts about the defamatory event in which she participated on the eve of Hero’s wedding is, indeed, annoying to a lot of us. But the other thing to notice in that instance is that the playwright’s overriding instinct is in fact right: we do not want Margaret to prevent the train-wreck in the church by revealing the truth, and the real villains, too early. And this is nearly always the case, wherever Shakespeare has fudged or cheated: It’s nearly always done in service to the larger payoffs at the heart of the struggle.
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Why did he fudge or cheat in the first You can’t scare me I work at Mcdonald’s I’ve seen it all shirt? I don’t think anybody can say for sure. If I had to guess, I’d guess it was that he was writing this fabulous stuff — at least a couple of dozen of the cornerstone dramatic works in the whole of human history — at a pretty rapid clip; and was all the while also working full-time as an actor and manager for a successful theatrical company. I know that if I had had to script as many full-length plays as he did, in only the number of years in which he was writing, my stuff would have contained a lot more fudging and cheating (and of course inexpressibly less brilliance and genius) than his. well, the immense intensity and the tremendous irony of that amazingly compressed moment, that huge non-action and the reasons for it, is one of the great coups de théâtre in all of dramatic history, full stop.