OP, based on the way you asked the question you already know what needs to happen here The older the ginger the hotter the spice shirt. I wish you luck and make sure to look up psychological projecting. Sounds like she is having scary feelings she doesn’t know how to express. Make some sock puppets and play pandemic to try to help her express her feelings. Then you can work on reassuring her that you are doing your best to keep her safe. It’s normal even adults don’t cope with the situation, I think your current partner as well but unfortunately, he doesn’t have compassion towards 5yo which is a shame really. You may not realize it now, but you are in an abusive relationship. It won’t get better, it will get worse. Tell him to leave. You and your daughter will not only survive without him, you will thrive!
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Get rid of the giant baby. 80% of your stress and emotions come from The older the ginger the hotter the spice shirt. If he can’t help and be there for you both he doesn’t deserve either of you. Tell him to go back to his mummy. At this young age, children can’t understand their feelings. Observe the things on which she feels irritated, avoid them if they are not that necessary. Guide her by offering her souvenirs. My son used to hit me. I have bought a punching bag for him. And have strictly told him, when you feel like punching, you are supposed to punch the punching bag, not your family members.