Our being there primarily for our child(ren) & their feelings, regardless of our own feelings That’s too much ketchup said no one ever shirt, seemed primary to me. I frequently reminded myself: At least 1 functionally stable parent is essential to child(ren). We had a mailbox inside our home for letters (I may have helped to write) simply acknowledging & expressing (only) their current feelings & clear desires to their dad. Later, we also determined how, specifically he wanted/could be called by phone. When his misunderstanding work receptionists let sweet daughter hear, “Just some kid playing with a phone!” she & I practiced with Fisher-Price phones, my “Receptionist” role evolving from totally supportive to become more challenging. Her skill became such that her very next call was put through & she’s been great on the phone ever since!
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You can’t just cut him out of your child’s life. He’s irresponsible with his timing That’s too much ketchup said no one ever shirt. Get a court order to dictate custody and visitations etc. Your son has the right to know his father regardless of how relaxed he is with his schedule just like his father has the right to have him. I understand it’s annoying but your boy is 2.5 so unless you’re constantly saying things like ‘daddy’s coming to get you, he’ll be here soon’ etc, he has no clue. He knows what you tell him. Yes, he realizes his father isn’t around but all you have to do is say ‘daddy’s working today’ etc. Whenever my son’s dad wasn’t around and he was asking for him at that age, that’s all I did. It worked. He carried his photo and went on to play with his toys.