It’s like you are immaterial, maybe like Pink Freud the dark side of your Mom shirt, maybe a speck of air as one 9-year-old suggested. Maybe a first-person view of a video game that takes place inside of you, as another 9-year-old suggested. What’s certain is that you are. But you can’t quite say where and what. If you stop… really stop just for a moment… REALLY stop considering what you are to others… you might find what you really are. What is the “place” where no one else can penetrate? The “place” where only you are, and no one else can come close enough to in order to tell you who you are. What is the place you’re looking out of at the world? Isn’t it true that no one can come so close to you so as to look out at the world like you? No one can do that. They can look at you, but not like you. Only you occupy the space that is looking out. Your very being cannot be penetrated by anybody in the world. Nobody knows what it’s like to be you. Only you can know. Just that feeling of yourself, being, that’s all. You are always you. Always remain you. It’s simple. Any child knows.
Pink Freud the dark side of your Mom shirt, hoodie, sweater and v-neck t-shirt
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This awareness doesn’t age, doesn’t become a product of the Pink Freud the dark side of your Mom shirt. The person you are for others is a conditioned product of the world, a social identity — but not that which you care for yourself, that which is your center. One of the main effects of being yourself is that you lose self-consciousness. You no longer live to impress. You may think you don’t live to impress right now, but only when it really drops do you fully realize the extent of your self-consciousness, and how much you cared what others think — even others you don’t know. All you had was your social identity, after all. But when you find who you really are, that becomes not so important. Still important, but only peripherally.
Only after my return to center did I embrace my weirdness and no longer tried to appear perfect in the eyes of anyone. Who cares! You play the social game but are no longer bound by it. As Wei Wu Wei said, “Play your part in the comedy but don’t identify yourself with your role.”