I caution you to pump the 19th Anniversary How the Grinch stole Christmas signature shirt, sweater. Unless I’m misunderstanding, the wording of your question and explanation of the situation sound as if you gave him all of the power and control and you were very passive in determining what would be happening in your situation/relationship. Are you also not a part of the equation? Do you not have an opinion? Passivity is only attractive from time to time when deciding where to have dinner, dear. It isn’t attractive when choosing a partner. I GET the desire to be kind and sweet, but kindness and sweetness don’t have to be executed passively. Kindness and sweetness coming from a position of strength become gifts of choice – and not actions are done in the hopes of “please like me,” which is the tone your words take.
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That’s a completely different animal from passively allowing another person to decide the kind of 19th Anniversary How the Grinch stole Christmas signature shirt, sweater. I’m sharing this with you not for this relationship because you need to release this relationship for the experience it was, but for future relationships. I saw a very different side, and it was demoralizing to try and ever communicate that with any of those people. They couldn’t believe me. Without intending to, those people poured salt in my wounds. As well as curating themselves, my pwNPDs had also carefully curated an image of me, casting a shadow of doubt into my character, judgment, temperament, etc. Their friends and acquaintances (and family) may like me, but they don’t completely trust me.